My cousin and auntie were staying over at our house for the past week so I had to sleep on a mattress in my brother’s room, whilst they slept in my room.
This was fine by me.
Apart from my brother’s stench and the daily foot in my face (he claimed to ‘forget’ that I was there. EACH MORNING), everything was fine and dandy.
Until one fateful night, when my brother decided to go to sleep at 8pm. He woke up, fresh as a daisy at 2am. And turned the light on.
I was fast asleep so obviously, I wasn’t impressed.
He then proceeded to tell me that since he was wide awake, he was going to study in his room until the morning and that if I didnt like it, I could move downstairs. What an asshole.
Since it happened to be his birthday, I decided to cage my inner bitch and moved to the downstairs couch with little complaint.
Just as I was settling in, I heard his gigantic apeman feet thundering down the stairs and into the kitchen. Our kitchen and living area are connected, so of course, I WOKE UP AGAIN.
He had come downstairs to heat himself up- wait for it- a kebab.
Of ALL horrendous things to stick in a microwave at 2am in the morning, A KEBAB.
So not ONLY was I woken up twice by this sasquatch, but I had to endure this assault to my senses; the stink of a greasy, garlic filled kebab.
I was already incredibly pissed off by this and told him to fuck off upstairs. Which he did.
Until 5 minutes later, when he came back downstairs to re-heat his demon garlic sandwich.